Why I'd Take a Bad Girl Over a Pussy Anyday

I like women. I like women who can sing. And I like women who can dance.

These qualities have inevitably made me a fan of such stars as Janet Jackson, Madonna, and Britney Spears. What I like more than a woman that sings and dances? A group of women who can sing and dance. This applies both to chorus girls and girl groups. I mean, I like TLC and Destiny's Child, but my favorite girl group at the moment probably has to be handed over to Danity Kane. I mean, you've got three hot girls, one pretty attractive one, and Aubrey (who is sometimes hot and sometimes scary kinds of trashy). And as we've all (or at least a few) seen, they were good enough singers and dancers to "make the band" in Diddy's reality show competition. These girls are no Eden's Crush though, they have produced some really great tracks and even a couple of good videos.

I never thought Danity Kane (who were named after a doodle one of the girls drew that Diddy liked) were as popular as they could be, but it never really hit me until I stumbled upon Wikipedia's chart of top selling r&b girl groups, on which Danity Kane does not appear. Alright, they're pretty new to the game, not a HUGE surprise there. But what group is #5 on the list? The freaking Pussycat Dolls. Sudden revelations began hitting me. Both were girl groups, both perform pop/r&b, both had TV shows, both have five members, hell, Nicole (the lead PCD) even was discovered via "Popstars" as a member of Eden's Crush, and yet PCD has sold a helluva lot more albums than the girls from Making the Band.

Why? Personally, I think the girls of Danity Kane are as a group more talented singers, are much more attractive, and have produced just as good-if not better-albums than PCD. Hell, a rejected Danity Kane contestant was a finalist to be one of the new Pussycat Dolls on their show (she didn't make either group in the end). I would love to write a blog about how people are just dumb for liking PCD more, but I think I have to chalk it all up to management.

Let's look at it. PCD has had two TV shows, have made a BAZILLION TV appearances, have even recorded a version of one of their singles for an upcoming Sims game. Although the Dolls have only released one album to date (with their second scheduled for September), they are currently promoting and performing their 8th single.

Danity Kane had been featured in four seasons of television viewing pleasure, but two of those were of the girls actually trying to make the group. And one was shared with Diddy's other two reality-made projects, but we'll call it even with the Dolls at two seasons. DK has released two studio albums, but will be releasing only their FIFTH single sometime this or next week.

So, it looks like PCD may have taken the edge due to more singles (especially because one of DK's singles was a self-penned Christmas song). I would also argue that PCD (or their management) have made better choices in terms of single choice. PCD appeals to men because they're (kind of) sexy women, singing about being sexy women. Almost all of their singles are about their level of hotness, and their sexual prowess. Guys respond to this, and girls are split between idolizing the Dolls and their own inner burlesque dancer, or jealously calling the Dolls a bunch of sluts.

Danity Kane? Their first song was a girl power anthem (about cars?), and their second a ballad about commitment. Now, I liked the show enough to pick up their debut CD, but if they had just hit the charts with these two songs, I probably wouldn't have. Their first album also features songs about their woman parts and how they want to use them to please me (their average male follower). It seems that instead of releasing "Ride for You", a song with lyrics like:

Let's take it back to three years ago
When you said that we could make it through whatever, ever
And to me it sounded like you meant forever, ever
Leaving was not an option, baby, never, never
Now don't you believe in a love that's worth a fight
In you is everything that I'm missing
So give us a chance

Instead, perhaps they should have released something like "Touching My Body":

Ohh, you're touching my body
Ohh, you must want me to get started
Boy I can't take it, it's so crazy how you're making me feel
How you're making me feel!

If I put you on, would you like that?
Keep it nice and warm, do you like that?
We do it on the floor, do you like that?
I wanna give you some more, I know you like that

I mean, do I have to say that sex sells? C'mon girls. They compromised with their recent hit "Damaged", which isn't such a sexy song, but comes with a video filled to the brim with the girls in tiny metallic bikinis and plenty footage of the girls dancing for you.

Things do seem to be looking up for the girls though. I understand they recently performed on Nashville Star (on their "pop" performance night). It's not the Super Bowl, but it's a start to get their name out. And it looks like their next single might see the success of some of the racier PCD songs. It's called "Bad Girl" and features Missy Elliot. It's not all that provacative, but the title makes it seem like it is, and they're definitely singing to a guy. Look for it to premiere soon, as the girls are filming sometime this week.

My pick for the next single? Strip Tease:

Just wanna please you
Blow out you candle in my birthday suit, surprise
Just let me make your night
I'll do you like you like
I'll fulfill your needs
Keep you tip, this one's on me

Eh? Eh? With songs like that (and them actually being RELEASED), DK should be able to go head to head with PCD. I mean, I don't know how you could go wrong when you were trained by Laurie Ann Gibson.

She Said WHAT?

Wow, it's been WELL over a week since my last real post. So sorry everyone.

You know what I love? Celebrity feuds, and more importantly, the ferocity with which fans take sides and fight. This past year I transitioned from high school student to college student, and found that one of the largest changes in my life was the amount of drama involved. High School (and don't get me wrong, I LOVED high school when I was in it) was full of drama, he-said-she-said, and general gossip fed fighting. Sure there's some drama at school now, but nowhere on the scale of the insults, "backstabbings", and unexplained anger/jealousy present at the lovely Bloomington High School (home of the Raiders).

While I have entered a drama-lite stretch of life, I still revel in the idea that celebrities, people who in theory should be busy all the time either a) working on movies/shows/music or b) spending their loads of cash have time to have public battles with other celebrities, who they probably have met only once or twice.

As far as I can tell, there are two types of celebrity feud.

1) MEDIA INSPIRED
Editors, radio hosts, bloggers, and VJs all tend to create conflict between celebrities that share similarities. In most cases the two will actually have no ill will towards the other, and in most cases are simply both vying for the same demographic. Cases in point include the 90s "feuds" between Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera or *NSYNC and The Backstreet Boys (and you just know 98 Degrees wanted in on some of the feuding action!). Or a *little* more recently that whole bizarre love triangle between Lindsay Lohan, Aaron Carter, and Hilary Duff (which I'm sure Lohan wanted NO part of). These feuds are entertaining enough, but the fans who rally to these causes are usually fanboys/girls who because of their love for one celebrity refuse to consider the idea that they may enjoy an entertainer popped out from the exact same mold.

2) QUOTABLE DRAMA
Now THIS is what I'm in to. I'm talking about feuds that start when one celebrity opens their mouth for a second and says something stupid about another star, either forgetting that everything celebrities do is recorded, or hoping to stir up some publicity. I suppose this is also started when celebrities choose to open their legs rather than their mouths (ANGELINA). One of the most recent that I absolutely LOVED was that scandalous photo of Hannah Montanna. Er. Miley Cyrus.

Vanity Fair (with a little help from Annie Leibovitz) vs. Miley Cyrus and Disney
As if you hadn't heard by now, this one is a doozy. Miley Cyrus and parents agree to do a Vanity Fair photo shoot with famed celebrity and fashion photographer Annie Leibovitz. Miley is photo'd bare back/shoulder with a blanket wrapped around her. The picture was not sexual at all (and not just because Miley Cyrus is not a sexy girl), but Miley freaked out about it (after Disney and the media did). Miley goes on to talk about how she is "embarrassed" by the photo and can't believe how it turned out. Annie tries to apologize, saying that she thinks people are misinterpreting it (grow some balls Annie) and Vanity Fair responds with, "Miley's parents and/or minders were on the set all day. Since the photo was taken digitally, they saw it on the shoot and everyone thought it was a beautiful and natural portrait of Miley." This mag does not mess around. After all other parties try to avoid placing blame and apologize as if they did something wrong Vanity Fair just comes back with, a big old "Bitch, your parents were on the set. And they saw the photo, so don't blame us just because you didn't clear this shit with Disney first."

Another favorite feud? Angelina Jolie vs. Jennifer Aniston. I'll give you that this is probably a more media and fan based feud (as neither party really spoke out on the subject too much), but dammit, this bitch stole America's Sweetheart's husband! And that was NOT acceptable to the good people of this nation. Sure, that strumpet had a few people on her side because let's face it, Jolie and Pitt make a pretty hot, A-List couple. But fuck that. When Laura Croft stole Achilles away from Rachel Green, I knew exactly who I was siding with. Hell, I was so enthralled in this feud, that I supported Aniston's choice of a rebound with Vince Vaughn, AND even saw "The Breakup"! The crowning moment of this ripped from the headlines of the school newspaper feud was when Kitson came out with those wonderful "Team Jolie" and "Team Aniston" shirts. I never owned one, but I loved that fans could display their celebrity loyalties. I only wish those t-shirts could have custom made for whenver there was a feud going on in real life. Like, kids could wear different "Team Mom" or "Team Stepmom" onesies to show their allegiance.

I guess there's one other kind of feud. The make believe one. This would include the Paris Hilton vs. Nicole Ritchie (which proved for a wonderful season of The Simple Life which included this as the final words in the season finale:

Paris: (After finding out Richie had held a press conference to announce a fake pregnancy for Paris) I can't believe you'd do this.
Nicole: I can't believe you'd wear blue fur.

END SCENE.

This type of feud also includes the heated rivalry between Heidi Montag and Lauren Conrad. Which is really like saying that Jim and Dwight are in a "celebrity feud".

So, what looks to be the most interesting upcoming feud? Not sure if it's going to go anywhere, but the one I'm going to keep my eye on (and suggest you do the same) is Spencer Pratt (yes, from The Hills) vs. Mary Kate Olsen. It all started with this clip:


Go to 5:00 to see the "dirt". I think Mary Kate is adorable when she tries to skirt the questions. But now she's in BIIIG TWUBBLE MISTUR.

Spencer responded, "I don't really get why she'd use my name to get press for her little indie film that no one's going to see...I know I've made it in Hollywood when a famous troll is talking about me on Letterman...I forgive her, though. She's had to go through life as the less cute twin, which must be tough."

I'll keep you updated on this. My greatest hope is that Heidi or his little sister She-Spencer attack ASHLEY Olsen on the streets and get arrested. Now that'd be good TV.

So You Think You Can Read?

Ahh! Sorry it's been so long, I've been keeping busy with work and the usual.

So here it is. I'm a total dork. Like, stereotypical dorky guy in movie type of dork. I collect comic books, read fantasy and sci-fi novels, and I'd rather play Final Fantasy or Suikoden games than Guitar Hero of Halo. The only thing I'm missing is a twenty-sided die and a Dungeon Master's manual. But obviously I know what these things are, so I'm not too off from total nerdville.

For some reason, I've always felt a need to defend these dorkier interests of mine. I spent the better part of the past two days finishing "A Storm of Swords" by George R.R. Martin. I planned to write about it here, and found myself trying to find ways to "legitimize" my interest in the book. I was going to write about how it stands apart from other fantasy novels due to its complex world and cast of hundreds (which it does), and discuss the fact that the storytelling is so strong it's being scripted for an HBO series (which it is), and ramble on about how the fantasy genre in general is a guilty pleasure. But screw that, I like the book and I'm glad to say it. I know there are a lot of trashy fantasy novels put out that are written in a few weeks, but the genre does have a lot to offer to the world of literature as well. And even if that's only in my own little delusions, the point is that it was a piece of literature I really enjoyed (and have started reading the next book in the series). So, if you're looking to get into the fantasy genre but don't want to be overloaded with sorcery and monsters, but do enjoy political intrigue, suspense, and a great cast of characters pick up all of the books of Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire, the first in the series being A Game of Thrones.

I was really excited to finish this book for two reasons. One: I was finishing a book and this always gets be geeked. For me, the last fourth of a book flies by because I'm so excited to see how everything wraps up. I generally tear into a book, reading the first fourth very quickly and then get distracted by games, DVDs, friends, or TV in the middle, and then tend to shut off all communication with the outside world while finishing the book. Two: I'm one step closer to catching up in this series. Yes, once again I am playing catch up. Just as I want to finish LOST and the Office to feel a part of their respective fan-based communities, I too want to finish up the remaining books in ASoIaF. I've only got one book left (three finished) before I'm all caught up and can sit in anticipation for the fifth installment to the series (supposedly coming out later this year). I feel like a kid again, waiting for the next Harry Potter book to come out. Freaking out when the title of the book is released, or the cover art, or if the author does an interview about it.

I guess there's another reason I'm excited to be finishing up this series. It means I get to start a new one (of maybe just find a great stand alone novel). I haven't gone book hunting in about a year, as I only read for pleasure during the summer and winter breaks. I wish I had enough time/drive to read just for fun at school, but I find studying, drinking, and sleeping seem to command most of my attention there. I figure I can finish this next installment of ASoIaF within a week or two, leaving half of the summer to find and read something new and exciting. I love book shopping. Grabbing a venti french soda with raspberry at my Barnes&Noble Starbucks and then spending the day looking for some great books is just a really relaxing thing for me. Of course, I then have to drive to Borders to buy the book I'm looking at, because their rewards program is about a million times better than the one at B&N. Gots to save that money. I wish Borders wasn't so loud and flashy. It all feels so new to me, whereas Barnes&Noble has an oldschool quality to it that I much prefer browsing in.

Oh, and don't think I forgot that So You Think You Can Dance? was on this week! The top nine couples (eighteen dancers) performed, doing everything from hip-hop, to salsa, to contemporary, and krump. This week's performances weren't as good as last week, but some definite favorites are starting to leap to the front of the pack.

A shout-out to my favorite couple of the week, Mark and Chelsie for their Argentinean Tango!

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And a pretty big BOO! to my least favorite routine, Comfort and Chris with their Krump. I like both of these dancers, but this week they were not turning it out for me.



So who was in the bottom three? Chelsea and Thayne (Jazz), Susie and Marquis (Salsa), and Comfort and Chris (Krump). I wasn't surprised, but I thought Jessica and Will or Matt and Kourtni also could have landed in the bottom spots.



After dancing their solos, we had to say goodbye to Susie (who looks like a rejected Pussycat Doll) and Marquis (which the audience was NOT happy about). I wasn't sure which guy was going to be sent home, and I have an inkling that Marquis was eliminated both because he hasn't stood out to the audience as a memorable personality, and because the judges wanted to wait until at least next week to eliminated dancers from different couples, creating a new couple in the process. Susie will not be missed (and now I won't have to listen to my mom complain about how she looks like a girl in a club instead of a dancer), and Marquis will be missed less than the other two, though he was a great dancer. This show really brings out the fire in my mom. She thought Marquis was safe for sure and started yelling when he was eliminated, "Chris isn't going home? C'mon! He didn't DO SHIT!"

I trust my mom's opinions on dance though. I mean, she wanted to take tap and jazz as a kid, and I think that counts for a lot (even if she never had a single lesson).

I Would Like to Form an Alliance, But Only Because I Think You're Going to be Easy to Betray

Those of you who know me personally (and those of you who don't know me personally, feel free to make yourself known so I know I'm writing to more people than myself, BWalsh, and E Baby) know that I love reality TV. Although, as of late I've turned into a more celebrealiaholic than anything else. Before Vh1 began debuting such masterpieces as I Love New York, Charm School, and Celebrity Rehab, I watched a couple of other reality shows you may have heard of: Big Brother and Survivor.

In a way I miss watching these shows that I firmly believed were a test of strength, wit, and mostly strategy. In most cases this strategy involved a lot of deception, and most likely one or two brutal backstabbings along the way. The first example that comes to mind is Danielle from Big Brother Season 2, who helped evict almost every single housemate, without their knowledge that she was the devious woman behind the curtain. It's because of her that most reality shows now include things like "sequester houses" to make sure the panel of already eliminated contestants that inevitably decides who walks away with the prize is not privy to the secrets and deceptions within the game. You see, Danielle didn't have the luxury of sending her housemates to sequester, but rather just to the television furnished homes. Of course they all watched how she betrayed them, and of course she did NOT win the money.

What got me thinking about all of this was a game I ended up playing for a few hours tonight called Mafia. I had played maybe once before but really enjoyed it this time around. I won't bore you with all the little rules, but the point of the game is to figure out which three or four people are working to eliminate the rest of the players through a secret ballot, these people are of course the Mafia. If, at the end of the game, there are any Mafia members still alive, the Mafia wins and everyone else loses. The game ends up simply being a series of secret assassinations, followed but lots of accusations and then elimination through public poll.

I spent most of the night trying to convince people that I was not part of the dreaded Mafia (though I usually was). Apart from my first game in which I was outed by making a sound during a Mafia only portion of the game, I was usually targeted because I talked too much. A lot of people sat through all of the games saying nothing, and only defending themselves if somebody were to accuse them of being in the Mafia. I just couldn't play like that. It seemed like a cop-out.

The same dilemma comes up in reality shows a lot. Too often (such as in Big Brother Season 2), the person who slides under the radar walks away the champion. While I understand the theory that in a game of conspiracy the hardest thing to do is stay inconspicuous, and I suppose I respect that strategy, but I just don't see the fun in it. If I were to ever get onto a reality show like Survivor, I would play exactly like I do in Mafia, and that is simply to play. I know that I wouldn't be able to sit around and watch the game go by, I would want to feel like I contributed to the final outcome, even if that outcome didn't involve me winning.

For the record, I did win Mafia a few times, though I also lost quite a few times. I learned rather quickly that while I enjoy acting, I am not the best at lying. It took a few games for me to move away from the idea of simply denying the fact that I was Mafia and into the role of instigator, getting perfectly innocent people eliminated based on suspicions either I or other players planted.

I'm not a fighter or arguer by any means. I don't think I've ever seriously yelled at anyone out of rage, or sadness, or frustration. But boy oh boy did Mafia get my blood boiling. It's kind of funny (and a little sad) how a game played by sitting in a circle around a gentle fire could get my adrenaline running. It really was exhilarating fighting with other people trying to save my own skin from elimination.

I'm glad to say that I don't live my life like a reality show, I try not to lie, and I would do everything in my power to not betray a friend or purposefully deceive people. I would certainly never accuse someone of something I know they weren't a part of. In real life. But I think (with some training) I could have a shot at making it on the reality tv competition circuit. I surprisingly fall into the everyman for himself mentality pretty naturally when playing games. I would never give up my immunity idol, and you had better believe I would yield your ass on the Amazing Race. Hang up your key, give me your torch, you're done.

'South Pacific' is Too Far for Me

I caught the tail end of the Tony Awards last night, hosted by Whoopi Goldberg. I'm sorry, but watching the Tonys is just ridiculous. And that is coming from someone who has been in more plays and musicals than he can remember, and is currently pursuing a theater minor (with absolutely no idea of what to do with it paired with his economics & strategy and marketing double major). I just don't see the point of watching an awards show honoring things I have no knowledge of, and most likely will never experience.

Let me take a step back and look at the Oscars really quickly, because I don't like watching that either. Here's the deal. I'm not a movie guy. I don't enjoy them all that much. I mean, I don't hate all movies, but I prefer theatre, TV, and literature. I go to the movies, but not often, and if I do it's likely to see a comedy or horror movie (two genres I rarely pay attention to in literature or television). That being said, I do usually watch the Oscars despite the fact that I have seen few to zero of the movies being honored. A few blockbuster films squirrel their way into the nominations every year and I'll root for those. This past year I spent my entire time rooting for Juno and Enchanted, some of the only movies mentioned that night that I had seen. Despite the fact I hadn't seen the movies being honored yet, I get a kick out of watching the Oscars to see what other people are watching, and to maybe hear about a movie that looks really interesting that I had never heard of before. Because you know what? I can probably go out and rent that movie. Problem solved.

The Tonys? This award show highlights shows that I have not seen because I have not been to New York City in over three years. Sure, I know a few of the revivals each year and every once in awhile they will honor an older show I have seen (such as this year's tribute to RENT), but for the most part I'm watching actors, choreographers, and producers struggle for recognition on projects I will never see. I understand that if you HAVE seen some of the shows being nominated the awards show could be very enjoyable. I was lucky enough to visit the Big Apple two years in a row in high school and loved rooting on Avenue Q, The Boy From Oz, and Pillow Man those years' Tony Awards. Watching the Tonys without a favorite to root for (that I've seen myself) though? Sure, all of the performances from the nominated Best Musicals are nice, but is that enough of a draw to watch the entire award show? Much in the same way as the Oscars, I see things honored that I have yet to see, and might be interested in looking into (such as Xanadu), but unlike the movies honored at the Oscars, these shows are most likely not going to be available to me without a trip to NYC.



If I'm lucky a national tour could start, though most likely not featuring much of the award winning casts being honored at the Tonys anyway. Not to say touring shows aren't good, I've seen plenty of magnificent touring performances (like The Lion King and Hairspray), but a lot of shows don't even make it to the touring stage.

So in short: I don't particularly like award shows that honor things I haven't seen, but appreciate them more if they open my eyes to a piece of art that I may enjoy and is accessible for my enjoyment. So until I move out to the East Coast (which I never can see myself doing), it's back to YouTube videos of performances and MTV's Legally Blonde: The Search for the Next Elle Woods to quench my Tony inspired thirst for Broadway performances.

Basically this entire post was a plea for free tickets to both New York and a wonderful show. Because as pointless as watching the Tonys seems, it still makes me want to jump up and and see most of the shows featured. Especially when Whoopi Goldberg ends her hosting duties by pleading to the viewers to get out and support live theatre, and I"m like, "I want to help you Whoopi. I really do. So if you'd just send a little cash my way from this hosting gig and that 'The View' show you're on, I'd gladly hop a flight to NYC this minute." So here I am, typing and waiting for my tickets to be delivered. I hope Whoopi knows that I don't like sitting front row. You can't see shit.

At least it's only a month until the Emmy noms get sent out.

A Mighty Wind is Blowin'

A majority of this post was written earlier this afternoon:

"Well I’m writing this as my laptop slowly loses its remaining battery life. It is a Sunday afternoon, Father’s Day, and the power is out. The day started out nice enough. It was sunny and hot, we even turned on the air conditioning. Hell, Dad, Mom, and I swam in the pool together for a little while. Eventually the clouds came out and blocked out the sun so we headed inside.

Mom just got the radio to work. There is nickel sized hail outside apparently. Sweet. Back to the story.

So we head inside and start watching America’s Best Dance Crew (season one reruns). It was the Michael Jackson Thriller challenge (my favorite episode) and then all of a sudden all of our power went out. I shortly heard a series of crashes outside and looked out the window to see that some of our guttering had fallen and a metal chair with a planter sitting on it had been blown off of our front porch and into our neighbor’s yard. So there are some pretty strong winds.

Two summers ago we had especially strong winds and a tree fell onto one side of my house, knocking off part of our roof and leaving us without power for 72 hours. You could literally push on the ceiling of my room (located in the attic of our house) and see sky. Thankfully there are no more large trees located around my house, so we should hopefully not have to suffer that fate again.

Hearing the chair and guttering crash was jarring, but not nearly as much as the quake that rattled the house when the tree fell. There have now been a few tornados spotted touching down on the ground in the surrounding counties. We have tornado watches a lot in Bloomington, but I’m pretty sure the town has only seen one in my lifetime. The winds don’t generally scare me, in fact I have inherited a little of my mom’s storm-chasing habits. The moment I heard the crash of the chair I wanted to head outside and feel the wind. Dad promptly ordered me inside where a flying branch couldn’t smack in the head or –god forbid- impale me.

The storm seems to be over now. The back windows of my car were rolled down, so that sucks. One of my dogs, Jesse the black lab, is frightened of pretty much everything and is still hiding under my parents’ bed. I’ve tried to coax him out from under there, but he doesn’t seem convinced that the storm is over. My neighbor is looking for her cat. Hopefully he found a safe place to hide during the short storm. Oh, and my favorite swim trunks, hanging on my back deck to dry after my early afternoon dip seem to have blown away. Guess I’ll have to head back to Old Navy for a replacement.

The best part of whole thing? When the storm started and the power went off, Mom was in the shower and didn’t know anything about it. She came out of the bathroom and was like, “Why aren’t the kitchen lights on?” Now I’m just waiting for the power to come back on and for my parents to get tired of listening to the weather reports so I can listen to some tunes."

While we were visiting my grandpa for Father's Day the power came back on. Things I've learned from this (and various others) power outage?

1. It's really not that bad if it happens during the day. You can still see.
2. Every house should have a few battery powered flashlights for such an occasion. Living by cell phone light is unacceptable.
3. The toilet does not need electricity to function.
4. For the first few hours of a power outage you will still instinctively flip on various light switches as you walk into rooms.
5. Only open the fridge/freezer if absolutely necessary. You don't know when it's coming back on.
6. Don't talk about not having electricity or "how hard it must have been back in the olden days". It will only make you miss television/the ability to see more.
7. It's very easy to read by daylight.
8. Perfect opportunity to go out to eat and visit people you should visit more often anyway.
9. No matter what you think, the power will come back on in time for you to set your alarm for the next morning. So don't even think about skipping work and using the outage as an excuse.

Rerun for the First Time

.As I've mentioned before, I'm spending a good portion of my summer trying to catch up on a few TV series that I've somehow missed out on over the past few years. The two I'm working on currently? LOST and The Office. I'm in the middle of the third seasons for both shows, and really looking forward to finally being caught up on them.

The hardest part about catching up on the shows I've missed? At first I would have thought the price of renting past episodes or even buying the DVD sets. As it turns out, most TV shows are distributed online for free (most legally even!). Now I'll admit, I used a Japanese site to illegally view the first two seasons of The Office, but only after finding out that they were not available for purchase via iTunes. All episodes of LOST on online (though I've ended up borrowing the DVDs from friends instead so that I might enjoy the episodes on a TV rather than my laptop) and TBS is rerunning The Office every Tuesday so I can catch up there for free. So where is the difficulty in my game of catch-up?

Spoilers. Both LOST and The Office have already concluded their fourth seasons, and being two of the most buzzed about shows on television, spoilers end up in conversation and on the internet all the time. Now I know a sitcom like The Office isn't something most people would consider being a show that could suffer from spoilers, but I still like to avoid them at all costs. From this point out you can assume there are spoilers for both LOST and The Office throughout the rest of the post. I'll be talking about a few of the things spoiled for me, but I'm not sure if they occur late in the third seasons of the shows or within the fourth seasons, so if you have a queasy stomach for spoilers like I do, you may want to leave now.

So The Office spoilers. I had no real interest in watching The Office until I saw a part of an episode in the fourth seasons. This showed Michael with Jan as an "item". Now this is all well and good until I start watching the series from the beginning and the idea of Jan and Michael getting together is completely ludicrous. I took that hit myself and can only blame myself for watching the series out of order. But I was not pleased when a friend blurted out that Pam and Jim end up getting together. Okay. I get it. I saw it coming. I mean, I knew it would happen. But watching them figure out their "meant to be" love really was meant to be is half the fun. I'm just thankful I found this out after I had seen the season two finale in which the two finally kiss. I almost cried.

As for LOST, I have had SOOO many things spoiled for me one way or another. Luckily, this show has more twists in it than an Adam Shankman routine (that's for all of you SYTYCD and Hairspray buffs). Off the top of my head things that I found out before they happened included: Michael's return from The Others, Sun's "secret", Boone's death, and now something about TIME TRAVEL. Or change in time. Or something about the future. I clicked away before I could learn too much.

Most of these came up from talking to people about LOST, reading episodes "teasers" for upcoming episodes, or merely surfing the internet. Now I know I can't blame anybody but myself for this kind of thing. If I didn't want to know these spoilers, I'd stay away from all LOST related information. Curiosity killed the cat and all that jazz. But I guess I just can't help but look around the internet for some information regarding the things that take up my time. Part of the reason I'm watching these shows (besides how good they are) is to feel like a part of their community, but when you start FOUR seasons behind, it takes awhile to catch up. It's hard to watch over 50 episodes of something without thinking that you know a thing or two about it.

I can't help that when somebody brings up LOST I want to exclaim with my newfound knowledge, "I know about that! I watch that! I want to bone Kate/Freckles!" rather than just shaking my head and saying, "Never seen it. Do you watch Desperate Housewives?" All I want is for the LOST fanclub to send me like a hat or keychain or something out of recognition for all these reruns I've been watching.

But then as soon as you do a Google search or open an Entertainment Weekly (which I've avoided the past two weeks due to the recent LOST season four finale) you realize that there's still a lot of ground you have to cover before you can call yourself a true fan.

Well look out LOST, The Office, Gossip Girl, and Big Love fans because if all turns out like it should I'll be joining your ranks before September! Just try not to spoil all my fun along the way and I'll promise to try my best to not ruin it for myself. And if I spoiled anything for you in this post- SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR LOOKING AT A BLOG WITH LOST AND THE OFFICE SPOILERS. But do know, I feel your pain.

So You Think You Can Dance? We don't.

I watched a whole lotta TV today, so I'm not completely sure what to write about today. So much has happened in my [TV] life. Good friends have died (LOST), people I hate may steal my adolescent dream of starring on Broadway (MTV's Legally Blonde: Search for the Next Elle Woods!), simpletons have triumphed (Tila Tequila's Shot at Love 2), but most importantly: TWO DANCERS WERE SENT HOME ON FOX'S "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?".

Let me begin by saying I LOVE this show. Dance is one of my favorite types of performance (I'll bet you didn't know that I was the dance captain for my high school's production of Footloose: The Musical) and this show spotlights real dancers doing some really incredible things.

For those of you unfamiliar with the show: no worries. This season has just begun so you have plenty of time to become emotionally attached to the twenty (now eighteen) contestants before one is crowned America's Favorite Dancer. Which by the way, is one of the other reasons I love the show. Right there in the title, the producers concede that the winner is not America's Best Dancer, but their favorite. Granted, we trust the judges to hand pick the top twenty dancers from a pool of thousands, but after that it's in the hands of the untrained American eye.

Last night was the two hour performance premiere in which ten male/female partners dance everything from disco, to tango, to hip-hop, broadway, and contemporary. America (including yours truly) vote for their favorite couples and the bottom three must then dance for their lives the next night in front of the judges.

Let's go ahead and start with my favorite and least favorite dances of the week. A big shout out to Katee and Joshua for this hip-hop routine:



And a big BOO to my least favorite: Rayven and Jamie with their hip-hop routine:




If you've DVR'd this weeks episodes and are (for some unknown reason) still waiting to watch them, avoid the rest of this blog as it is spoiler-rific.

Cat Deeley (the eight foot tall British blonde bombshell hired to host the show) pysched us all out by bringing forward three couples and threatening to announce who would be in danger for elimination. After hearing rave reviews for each of the couples she reveals that they're ALL SAFE. You punk'd me alright Cat. I for sure thought at least ONE of them would be in the bottom three. Tricky temptress you.

Cat eventually reveals the bottom three couples: Kortni (who looks like Cameron Diaz)/Matt, Rayven/Jamie, and the surprise couple of Jessica/Will. The six dancers performed their mindblowingly short solos (they're supposed to convince the judges to keep them with fifteen seconds of dancing?), Cat brings in the Pussycat Dolls to keep the masses entertained while the judges confer "backstage" (where there are cameras) about who to send home (even though it's painfully obvious at this stage of the game).

The Pussycat Dolls grind on each other, shake their asses, and I'm pretty sure Nicole even sang a little bit. The performances on this show are always great because the groups have to dance a lot more than they normally would so it almost makes sense that they're performing on said program.


After the commercial break nobody was surprised to see Rayven and Jamie get the ax. The best part? Cat has the audacity of showing them a montage of "some of their greatest moments on the show", which consist of their one performance from the previous night and clips of them sitting in the cold waiting to audition. And at the end of each clip Cat says, "And those were only a few of your great moments!". Listen, nobody but these individual dancers and their respective family/friends care. They've been on the show for a week, and weren't as good as the rest of the cast, so I can't imagine too many were emotionally attached at this point. Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for all of the dancers on the show, I'm just saying that the "long farewell" act seemed out of place and a little absurd.

At any rate, their five minutes of fame seem to be up. So here's one for me, and one for the departed homies. Peace.





OH. And why in the world would the producers have random popper/lockers on the show tonight instead of last year's champion Sabra? Mad love goes out for her (absence) tonight.

I'd Like a Gift Receipt for This Card Please

So this upcoming Sunday is Father's Day. A day to commemorate the hard work our male parent does everyday to make sure their son or daughters' lives are the best they can be. I'll give you a rundown of how this whole thing works in my family. My entire family wakes up late, my mother cooks breakfast with my dad and we eat. Then, my dad opens the cards he was given, followed by whatever presents he gets (from both my mother and I). Now I realize a lot of wives don't buy their husbands presents on Father's Day. I understand why, I mean, he's not THEIR father, but I know my mom gives my dad a present because she respects and values him as the father of her children. I think it's sweet. I know that even some kids don't buy their fathers' presents, just give a card. I can't imagine not getting my dad SOMETHING, but again I guess it's the thought that counts.

Now onto what I really wanted to talk about: the selection of Father's Day cards I ran into today while shopping. I went to Borders to pick up "The Audacity of Hope" by Obama as well as the new Madonna CD "Hard Candy". I also picked up Adele's debut album "19" for myself. I then went to my local grocer Jewel-Osco to pick up a bag to put the gifts in and a hilarious Father's Day card.

My dad is a cryer. I'm a cryer. I'm proud to say that I have inherited his overly empathetic gene. Most cards, even if not all that sappy, will make Dad cry. I try to avoid this at all costs because it makes me feel uncomfortable. I understand it's tears of happiness when he reads a nice card, but I feel less than genuine for bringing out those emotions because I didn't write the words, just picked them out from a stack. I instead tend to go for the comedic cards. My dad is a funny guy. I'm a funny guy. We like to laugh. He particularly likes puns. Bad puns. So that's what I look for each and every Father's Day and birthday.

Let me tell you. The cards (and there were at least fifty of them on display) appropriate for a son to give a father were horrible. Apparently the only paternal aspects that the card companies would like to celebrate on June 15th are: a father's inability to fix things, his need to scratch himself, the fact that farts constantly, or that he drinks heavily. Here's the thing card distributors of Jewel-Osco. Everyone farts. It's not that funny. All of the cards seemed insulting, though I guess they are to be interpreted as funny backhanded compliments. I suppose nothing says "Thanks for putting up with all my shit for nineteen years, paying for the house, food, and my education!" like a cute rhyme about how he farts too much, and is incapable of putting together simple pieces of furniture.

About the only card I could find that were neither gushy nor rude was a simple card that read "Dad, you rock!" and on the inside, "Well, you're more of a recliner, but you're still pretty special! Happy Father's Day!". I did not find this one particularly insulting, but also did not think it was funny in the least bit. So I decided to head for the birthday card section.

I know. I know. It's not my dad's birthday on Sunday. His birthday is in December. But I figured I could find one funny birthday card and just explain to him my predicament of finding a good card when he opened it. I think he'd think it was funny. The first card I see? "Dad, you rock! Well, you're more of a recliner, but you're still pretty special! Happy Birthday!". Fuck.

I ended up picking up a charming birthday card with a man holding up oranges as if they were his breasts with the inside text "Orange you glad it's your birthday?". There we go. Funny. Pun. A bad pun at that, and a reference to that horrible knock-knock joke Dad used to tell me as a kid. I'll scratch out birthday and put Father's Day.

I hope he enjoys the book and CD, but as far as I'm concerned my Father's Day present was looking at shitty cards for twenty-five minutes.

A New Beginning

Hello Internet.

I'm back.

I had tried blogging a few years ago, but it never really clicked with me. I'm not a big blog reader to be honest (except for my guilty pleasure www.pinkisthenewblog.com where I get ALL of my celebrity goss). During my first attempt at a blog I felt like I was writing more of an online journal than anything relevant to society, and at the time I had just ended my long-term relationship with www.livejournal.com so I just didn't see the point.

I'd like to think I've become a more interesting person since my sophomore and junior years of high school, but I can't promise this won't be any more organized or relevant than my last attempt. I don't plan on using this as an outlet for my personal life and the way I deal with it, but I do expect for it to be an outlet for my ideas, interests, and emotions. Things I think will be worthy to blog about in my current summer vacay lifestyle:

• My job at a record store/skateboard shop/ bong boutique in Central Illinois (which is owned by my parents).
• Trying my hardest to catch up on TV series I have missed out on (including LOST, The Office, Weeds, and BIG Love).
• Getting a decent tan.
• Spending too much time reading reviews and watching youtube vids of video games when all I own is a Nintendo Wii.
• Trying to cram in as much "pleasure reading" as possible into my summer before I must once again to succumb (you have no idea how many times I had to try to spell "succumb" before I figured it out. There are two "c"s and a "b") to "school reading" such as my managerial accounting or quantitative business analysis text books.
• The ongoing struggle to deal with a town that does not have as liberal of a drinking policy as my school (Washing University in St. Louis).
  
• Also, you may be treated to a few short stories of mine. I'm trying to start writing again in anticipation of a fiction writing course I'm enrolled in for fall term.
  

I suppose I'll end this first post with an explanation of the blog title. I thought about using this space for a brief introduction to myself (eharmony style), but I think I'll let the blog speak for me itself. So, onto the title.

SEE: OH! ARE. WHY?

If you read those four words you will end up with four disjointed words, or the phonetic spelling of the letters of my name.

Cory = C O R Y = see oh are why

It's something I discovered a year or two ago and have been playing around with for awhile. I've added the punctuation (and changed them many a time) until I ended up with this. For me, SEE:OH!ARE.WHY? represents life lessons imparted to me through my name.

SEE:
I want to see the world. I want to see how other people live, and I want to see it for what it's worth. The Earth is too big and too incredible to be taken for granted. Just by leaving my home state (by moving FAR AWAY from Illinois to Saint Louis, MO) I have learned so much about the rest of the world works. I want to see more, and more importantly to learn from what I see. I'm hungry for change and enlightenment.

OH!
I think everyone should do something that makes them go "OH!" every single day. Now, maybe you're not one to exclaim the word "OH!" under any situation (I'm with you on that), but hopefully you get the gist. I'm not saying to do something scary or surprising everyday (though I can't seem harm in that either), just something that excites you. I never want to be complacent with my life, the idea of being satisfied is horrifying. Bring on the thrills, the challenges, the fun. I want to continue to grow and continue to be excited about life.

ARE.
This is a reminder that "I am." does not work nearly as well as "We are." Don't get me wrong, I celebrate diversity as much as the next guy (in fact I'd be surprised if a few blogs aren't focused on my Mexican heritage), but for every littler difference people have, everyone is unified by something more. I definitely respect people for their differences, but that doesn't seem as important to me as simply respecting someone because they're a person and deserve it. Because in the end, we're all in this together people.

WHY?
I want to ask questions everyday. I want to pursue my education both in a formal institute as well as in life. My dad always used to say, "If you're lucky you'll learn something new everyday." I've seen that the best way to learn things is to ask questions. Usually, people will not only be willing but will also enjoy giving you the answer. Asking questions is more to me than simply "challenging a status quo" but rather a way to enrich my life, and if I can pass on what I learn to others, I can hopefully enrich theirs as well. I suppose that's all for now.

I'll leave you with a teaser for things likely to come up on here in the coming week (based on my current interests and wonderings).