I Would Like to Form an Alliance, But Only Because I Think You're Going to be Easy to Betray

Those of you who know me personally (and those of you who don't know me personally, feel free to make yourself known so I know I'm writing to more people than myself, BWalsh, and E Baby) know that I love reality TV. Although, as of late I've turned into a more celebrealiaholic than anything else. Before Vh1 began debuting such masterpieces as I Love New York, Charm School, and Celebrity Rehab, I watched a couple of other reality shows you may have heard of: Big Brother and Survivor.

In a way I miss watching these shows that I firmly believed were a test of strength, wit, and mostly strategy. In most cases this strategy involved a lot of deception, and most likely one or two brutal backstabbings along the way. The first example that comes to mind is Danielle from Big Brother Season 2, who helped evict almost every single housemate, without their knowledge that she was the devious woman behind the curtain. It's because of her that most reality shows now include things like "sequester houses" to make sure the panel of already eliminated contestants that inevitably decides who walks away with the prize is not privy to the secrets and deceptions within the game. You see, Danielle didn't have the luxury of sending her housemates to sequester, but rather just to the television furnished homes. Of course they all watched how she betrayed them, and of course she did NOT win the money.

What got me thinking about all of this was a game I ended up playing for a few hours tonight called Mafia. I had played maybe once before but really enjoyed it this time around. I won't bore you with all the little rules, but the point of the game is to figure out which three or four people are working to eliminate the rest of the players through a secret ballot, these people are of course the Mafia. If, at the end of the game, there are any Mafia members still alive, the Mafia wins and everyone else loses. The game ends up simply being a series of secret assassinations, followed but lots of accusations and then elimination through public poll.

I spent most of the night trying to convince people that I was not part of the dreaded Mafia (though I usually was). Apart from my first game in which I was outed by making a sound during a Mafia only portion of the game, I was usually targeted because I talked too much. A lot of people sat through all of the games saying nothing, and only defending themselves if somebody were to accuse them of being in the Mafia. I just couldn't play like that. It seemed like a cop-out.

The same dilemma comes up in reality shows a lot. Too often (such as in Big Brother Season 2), the person who slides under the radar walks away the champion. While I understand the theory that in a game of conspiracy the hardest thing to do is stay inconspicuous, and I suppose I respect that strategy, but I just don't see the fun in it. If I were to ever get onto a reality show like Survivor, I would play exactly like I do in Mafia, and that is simply to play. I know that I wouldn't be able to sit around and watch the game go by, I would want to feel like I contributed to the final outcome, even if that outcome didn't involve me winning.

For the record, I did win Mafia a few times, though I also lost quite a few times. I learned rather quickly that while I enjoy acting, I am not the best at lying. It took a few games for me to move away from the idea of simply denying the fact that I was Mafia and into the role of instigator, getting perfectly innocent people eliminated based on suspicions either I or other players planted.

I'm not a fighter or arguer by any means. I don't think I've ever seriously yelled at anyone out of rage, or sadness, or frustration. But boy oh boy did Mafia get my blood boiling. It's kind of funny (and a little sad) how a game played by sitting in a circle around a gentle fire could get my adrenaline running. It really was exhilarating fighting with other people trying to save my own skin from elimination.

I'm glad to say that I don't live my life like a reality show, I try not to lie, and I would do everything in my power to not betray a friend or purposefully deceive people. I would certainly never accuse someone of something I know they weren't a part of. In real life. But I think (with some training) I could have a shot at making it on the reality tv competition circuit. I surprisingly fall into the everyman for himself mentality pretty naturally when playing games. I would never give up my immunity idol, and you had better believe I would yield your ass on the Amazing Race. Hang up your key, give me your torch, you're done.